


Three years

by WhatLover



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Petra is dead, angst at the vey beginning, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-26
Updated: 2015-02-26
Packaged: 2018-03-15 08:35:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3440603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhatLover/pseuds/WhatLover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren is worried and heart broken at the fact that Levi doesn't love him as much as he says he does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three years

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I made this....  
> Hinted Levi x Petra.

Levi and Eren had been together for 3 years now. They were obviously in love with each other and nothing could have possibly done them apart. Yet there were moments where Eren really doubted they could last forever.

He found it hard to continue living with Levi if he constantly mourned his previous lover.  It’s not like he’s against it….but there really are times when the brunette doubts the ravens love to him. It had been getting steadily worse and he really couldn’t stop himself from silently crying whenever Levi wasn’t at home.

It’s not that Levis regular visits to the grave are the ones that cause him such great distress. The problem lays more in the times where he’s asleep. To be more exact, the times he talks in his sleep.

The raven would mumble her name, time to time. Followed by  words like ‘I love you’, ‘don’t go’ and some other things that would hurt Eren’s feelings.

The brunette never told Levi what the other was doing, because at first he thought that it would stop over time. He thought that Levi was still a little attached to her with some minor feelings like nostalgia. It was natural to still feel like that and he really didn’t mind at first.

Eren would just brush it simply off with ‘he’ll stop eventually’, ‘soon he’ll realise that he only loves Eren’ or even ‘He would forget about her’.

After the third year started, Eren finally acknowledge the fact that it will never come to an end.

He had once walked up to Levi, when the raven was kneeling before the tombstone and talking to himself...or to Petra for that matter. The raven didn’t notice that the brunette was standing right behind him, listening to his every word.

He heard Levi saying that he feels guilty for being happy with someone other than her and he really doesn’t know what to do with himself.

He had even mumbled about still caring about her and those words struck him like a lightning into his heart.

He left as quietly as he came.

Then he thought that all he had to do, is make Levi forget about her. Make the raven focus all his love and affection to him and him alone. That way, even the nights or times he was unconscious, he won’t utter the womans name ever again.

He made sure to entertain, shower the other with his affection, kissed and had passionate sex with the other.  He always made sure to compliment and always encourage the raven.

He stripped his needs off of himself and kept on pleasing Levi as much as he could. Accepting and expecting minimum things in return.

He worked himself to the top of his work and earned a promotion, which payed more. He used the new income to buy the other presents and invite the raven to eat expensive food in restaurants.

Eren pushed himself to the brink of complete exhaustion by the end of 5 months.

He had felt worn out and sick. The brunette had taken a whole two weeks to recover. In that time Levi was taking care of him and Eren only whined, demanding complete attention on him alone.

The raven didn’t seem to mind much, contrary to his constant cursing. The raven lectured the brunette to not overwork himself and then pretend like everything is fine and dandy.

Levi wanted that Eren would let him know, when he wants to laze around, because he’s really tired and needs to rest. The raven also mentioned that he had him worried for a while now. But only because Eren was good at acting, he had brushed off the feeling of the brunette overworking himself.

He can’t deny the fact that he felt loved more than ever in that time.  He enjoyed every second of it.

Yet….

The sleeptalking never stopped.

Even if he were to point it out and demand the other to quite going to the grave, he feared that Levi would leave him without a second thought. The brunette was convinced that the raven would sober up and tell him that he just desired somebody to be close with.

That all the shared affection and love making sessions were just some need he had to satisfy and Eren was the perfect target. Seeing as he was so in love that it completely clouded his own judgment.

He couldn’t bear the thought of hearing such cruel and cold words being spoken. Thus the reason, why he decided to keep his mouth sewn shut. He’ll never bring it up and that’s final...

~***~

He entered his home and found Levi sleeping soundly on the couch in their living room. Eren walked up to the other, kneeled in front of Levi and reached down to wake the other up.

“Petra...”

His hand came to a sudden halt and his happy face fell apart. It was quickly replaced with remorse and hurt.

He had hope that he wouldn’t hear her name pass his lovers lips today, since he had had so much fun at work today and really wanted to share his story with Levi.

“Please...”

He should probably wake him up before he could say anymore.

Levi will catch a cold if he let’s him keep slumbering on the couch. He must have been tired...levi will have to keep resting on their bed though.

The brunettes finger tips touched the others shoulders slightly, but stopped at the next words.

“Marry me...”

His eyes widened at those words.

Levi had never said that….he had never uttered those two simple words these past three years.

His hand slowly removed itself from the laying figure and fell on his ass. He shook his head slowly, disbelievingly. He couldn’t believe it...no, he didn’t want to let it sink in.

Did Levi want to marry her?

At the thought of Levi wanting to marry her rather than him, pierced his heart more than ever.

He quickly stood up and rushed out of the house. He didn’t even care where he was running and that it was raining. He just wanted to get away. Far away from the torture he had been put through.

He should have known that Levi’s feelings didn’t only consist of guilt. It reached further than that. She was Levis true love…

He was running through the park and slowed down to a stop. His hand was on the tree, supporting his body from falling down.

He was desperately trying to get as much air into his lungs as they were burning from the lack of oxygen.

He slid down the tree and let the cold drops of water soak him further as he continued to drift into his mind. He would have wanted to escape his thoughts, but finding an exit to his own world is impossible.

He had been lucky on being able to avoid the topic for so long, but now it had finally dawned on him. There was no escaping the truth anymore as it was clear as a day. He can’t lie to himself any longer than he already had.

He had been struggling for years to get the one single line out of his head. His efforts had been in vain…

Petra was Levi’s girlfriend long before him. Apparently they had dated for 5 years, but it soon came to an end. She had fallen victim to a serial killer called Female titan.

She was so disfigured that the coffins upper part, where she was put to lay in, was closed. It had been a tragic event and levi mourned her for a year, before I came along and he fell in love again.

Eren isn’t sure if the ‘falling in love’ part was even the truth…

He has no evidence that points out the fact that he loves him even. Maybe the raven confused the simple family love feeling to a partner's love...Maybe he just has to realise that….and it would be all it takes to break them apart.

He can already hear Levi saying that he wants to break up. Hell he can even imagine the scene playing in his head.

How Levi would stare back at him with a blank expression, saying ‘it’s over’. He can see himself asking ‘why’ and him receiving a simple, ‘I don’t love you they way a lover would.’

He felt warm tear drops flowing from his eye corners down his cheeks. He couldn’t stop them even when he wanted to. He pulled his hood over his head and dragged his legs towards himself.

He doesn’t want to acknowledge the fact that he had never been the first one in his heart. He was always the second after her.

He tried to beat her, be better than her. Eren wished that Levi would only look his way, but it never happened.

Even if he did his best in keeping the ravens attention on him during the day. At night, she always resurfaced.

It felt like Levi was secretly cheating on him, but in this one, she kept on coming back no matter what he did.

He could never escape the horrors of hearing that single name. He even tried to play it off as nothing...it worked for a while, but like always…

he failed...

He failed on beating her.

“I can’t defeat a dead person….” He said in a broken voice.

He kept on sobbing as the thought kept on crushing his already too fragile heart. He silently shook as he let all his emotions out. He needed to get it out of his system. He has to put an end to this torture.

He usually faces his problems head on, but when it comes to love...He was so inexperienced and really had no idea on how to handle it.

Sure, he had some relationships before hand, but this was the first time, he truly was in love. He felt like he couldn’t live with the other and needed to have Levi with him.

But lately, he feels like he’s being suffocated and all exits had been taken from him.

Why couldn’t he just fucking break the relationship off? What made it so difficult?  Or rather, why hasn’t he yet confided his worries to Levi?

The raven would be the only one, who could fix it.

Yet, whenever he tried...his mouth clamped automatically shut and kept on pretending that everything was fine. It’s like the fear of being left behind had Eren in complete control.

Three years back or rather before this whole relationship, he had no idea what the word fear even meant!

What has this love done to him? All his friends and parents were right, when they said that he had changed. They had said that his temper had lessened and he isn’t as rush as he was before.

They were right.

“God, they were all so fucking right.” He sniffed and kept on crying.

He has to tell Levi….he has to break up with him or else this love will rip his heart apart. He doesn’t want his heart to suffer anymore damage than it already had.

Levi wanting to marry her in his dreams was the last blow. He couldn’t take anymore as Levi and him had never talked about marriage. They never discussed it!

The raven is willing to do exactly that with her, he’s nothing compared to her.

He might have never even had the chance to occupy levis heart. He always had to share it with someone, who had already passed away.

If anything, Levis heart must have been too full for him to even enter. He was just an outsider, who just happened to fall in love with a grumpy man. He has no place next to Levi...She will always stand right next to him, while he will have to watch from the distance.

“Hey, Eren.”

The familiar voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he quickly angled his head up and sharp silver eyes were staring down at him. Worry was written all over Levis face and Eren knew he needed to tell him.

No…

He wasn’t ready to face the other yet.

“What’s wrong Eren? You’ve been acting up lately.” The raven kneeled down and reached out to wipe the tears away, but the hand was slapped away.

Confused as to why he was rejected the way he was, Levi locked gazes with bright strong titan greened  eyes. It was filled with betrayal and partly hatred, as if touching his lover was a crime and he should have known.

“Ere-” Before he could ask, the brunette stood up and sprinted away. Levi was shocked and couldn't quite comprehend the situation until it was too late. He tried to go after the young one, but as soon as he got over the small hill, the brunette was no where in sight.

Figuring his best chances on meeting up with his lover would be at home, he headed back.

He had noticed that lately Eren had been acting weirdly. No.

The brunette had been off for the whole 6 months and he had hoped that one day Eren would tell him. But the day never came and he was slowly running out of patience.

Something is upsetting his lover and it frustrates him. He doesn’t know what it is, but he’s sure as hell, it has something to do with him. Yet he can’t fix anything unless Eren tells him.

Is Eren unsatisfied? Is he doing something wrong? Is he not loving him enough?

He doesn’t know, but he will make sure to pry the answer out of the brunette by force if he had to.

As he arrived home, numerous thoughts and guesses were running through his mind. Yet none of them rang a bell as hard as the one activity, he thought would be harmless.

Is Eren upset about him visiting Petras grave regularly?

It could be true, seeing as Eren’s mood would drop whenever he says Petras tombstone.

It’s normal to visit peoples graves they cared about, so why would the brunette even be upset about something so silly? Is there a bigger reason?

He remembered the times he woke up late night and heard crying in the living room. That had gotten him worried as he didn’t want to let his lover suffer alone. The raven wanted Eren to confide and rely on him.

He had tried to approach as silently as possible, not wanting to alarm the other and give him the chances to wipe away the evidence.  He opened the door and found the brunette on the couch, a book in his hands.

It was the same book that the brunette had already read and shed countless tears to.

He knew then that even if there had been something wrong, he would never know as the brunette could simply dismiss the matter with saying that it was because of the book.

He wouldn’t even be able to make sure that it was the book, because Eren had already read it and knew where the sad parts were.

Levi sighed at the memory.

After that, whenever he heard crying he had tried to find the other sobbing without a book in his hand. He had never succeeded.

He was at home, patiently waiting for Erens arrival. Worried that  something might have  happened to his little shit head.

Maybe he should have chosen a direction and try to run after him? He tried calling the idiot, but he never answered.

Maybe...he had done something stupid and gotten into a bad situation. Maybe he was hurt? Maybe somebody had harmed him?

But how will Levi know that Eren was safe and sound?

Why had this had to happen? Just when he bought it and decided that it was about time. Last time he had been too slow, but this time he wanted to make sure to not miss the chance again.

It had stopped raining..

When he heard the door opening and closing, he rushed out of the kitchen into the corridor. He found a soaked through brunette standing there, not even bothering to move a muscle. His eyes were puffy, lacking the shine they usually held and his gaze turned down.

He looked like a complete mess.

“Where the fuck were you?!” Levi hissed, enraged for Eren having purposely made him worry like a maniac. he had been so close to ripping his hair out too.

“...”

When he didn’t receive an answer, he tried again.

“You do know, you could have at least texted a message saying that you were okay.”

“...”

Why wasn’t Eren saying anything?

Before he could say more, he got cut off by the brunette.

“Let’s break up.” He mumbled.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“You heard me. I want to break up.” The brunette raised his gaze up and glared at the raven.

“Why? Why would you want to stop being with me all of a sudden?”

Eren’s fists clenched tightly as he prepared himself to pour out all his feelings to Levi and tell him about, how much he was hurting inside.

“I should have broken up with you the moment I realised that you’ll never get over her.”

“Wha-”

“You always say her name in your sleep. It’s always her you’re dreaming of, not me!” Eren shouted, his anger controlling his every movement and words. “I tried to be be better and get you say my name instead of hers, but it never happened!”

“Eren you-”

“No! I don’t want to hear you’re lousy excuses! I have had enough! You don’t even fucking realise that you still love her! You probably somehow convinced yourself that you loved me, when in reality you were just using me to lessen the pain of being alone.” Erens tears started to resurface. “I was always just a fucking REPLACEMENT!”

Eren stared at Levi expectantly, waiting for the other to start denying and reassure his love was real, but it never came. he shut his eyes tightly and then reopened them. He quickly grabbed the car keys and ran out of the house.

Levi was shocked and couldn’t move nor process the words that he heard. He didn’t know what he was saying in his sleep, so whatever he said must have hurt Eren.

But was he still in love with her? Was Eren right?

He was sure that all he felt for Petra now was just remorse. He never once thought of still loving her when the ravens feelings were directed to the brunette.

He asked himself one final time, did he still love her?

The answer was clear as a day. No...he didn’t love her the same way as he loved Eren. He loved the brunette more than her and if he had met Eren while he was dating Petra, he knew that he would have left her for Eren.

As he finally recovered and regained the ability to speak, the brunette was already out of the door and out starting the car.

His heart sank as he remembered the horrendous fact that the cars brakes weren’t working and he wanted to tell that to Eren.

Eren was a mess, who was controlled by emotions alone. He will probably drive it too fast...the roads are slippery as well, because of the rain.

He quickly grabbed his motorbikes keys and rushed out. He needed to go after Eren and somehow make him aware of the danger of sitting and driving in that vehicle.

He won’t let the brunette cause an accident that will kill him. He wouldn’t know what to do with himself if that were to happen.

He quickly started the engine and drove to the direction he saw Eren head to from the window. Just please don’t drive too fast… We don’t have another car I could use to force you to slow down.

The motorbike wouldn’t be heavy enough to slow it down fast enough…

As he already started to see the car Eren was speeding in, he felt his heart sink further when he knew that the next turn was a sharp one, where he definitely has to reduce his speed or he won’t be able to take it.

Eren…

No good, he’s going to crash...he’s going to get himself seriously injured. Did he have his seatbelt on? Fuck.

It felt like time was slowing down as the car drove right out of the road and into a tree. Levi saw how the cars front became smaller as the metal bend itself with the help of the tree. A loud crashing noise rang into the night.

“EREN!!” The raven shouted.

He was horrified of what injuries his Eren had sustained and was panicking, when the image of the brunettes lifeless body, covered in blood with the seatbelt being the cause of cutting through his neck, flashed through.

When he was close enough, he quickly got off the motorbike and ran towards the car. He noted that there was fire spreading near the gas, which made this a dangerous situation to be in.

Levi saw Eren on the ground, trying to crawl away, but the movements were slow and ineffective. He rushed to the brunettes side and grabbed him.

Every move he made, he made them as if he were on autopilot. He wasn’t even thinking about maybe getting caught in the fire and sustaining injuries on his own.

He just couldn’t care less about the pain he was going to suffer from. He just wanted to have Eren in his arms, away from harms way. He thanked his body from not freezing in place as such things do tend to happen.

They needed to get away as fast as possible, because this car was going to lit on fire as soon as it gets in contact with the gas.

He clutched Eren tightly, holding him close to his heart. As he run, he felt the sudden hotness behind his back and looked behind to discover that the car had flames surrounding it.

He stumbled on something and fell down to the wet grass with a loud thump. He groaned as the pain shot through his body, but he was more worried for having caused more damage to Eren than himself.

He sat up and did a quick survey over the brunettes body. Examining every inch of it. finding numerous cuts which probably were from the glass shards that managed to break free from the windshield.

He didn’t find major injuries with what he could bleed to death and allowed himself to relax for just a bit.

He gently caressed Erens face and tried to make sense of the happenings. He then pulled the brunette to him. Making Eren sit between his legs and head resting on his chest. Levi had his arms tightly around the brunette while he just looked at the car which was slowly being devoured by the flames. Had he not been there, they would have almost claimed his lover.

He placed a gentle kiss on top of his Erens head while still staring at the raging fire. The brunette didn't fall to deaths clutches today as it’s grip wasn’t strong enough to pull him to the other world.

He was thankful for realising the problem with the car just minutes after the brunette had driven off.

He wouldn’t have been able to bear to lose another person, who he had loved so dearly and the feelings were stronger with Eren.

He then realises that he should probably call the ambulance and let them take a firetruck with them. He’ll just keep and holding Eren until he wakes up or the ambulance arrives. They’ll patch the brunette up better than he would anyway.

~***~

They were home, both sitting on the couch facing each other.

“Levi...”

“Eren.”

“I-”

Levi quickly shushed the other with his finger, while still holding onto the brunettes hand. He pulled it away and started talking.

“I’ll make this as short and clear as possible. Whatever I might have said in my dreams, they were probably just out of memory. After having met you, my feelings for Petra had become almost non existent. All I did feel for her is remorse and guilt for being happy with you...if not happier.”

The raven noticed that Eren wanted to say something, but didn’t let him by placing once again his index finger on the brunette's lips. “Let me finish.” The brunette simply nodded and let the raven continue.

“And when you said all those things back then, I guess I was shocked...I thought it over and came to realise that even if she hadn’t been dead, I would have left her for you.” Levi gazed at Eren lovingly. “No, I don’t love her anymore..all that would bind me and her would just be memories. I’m sorry for having caused you feel like i prefered her over you.”

He leaned in and pecked the brunette's lips. “I love you and you don’t need to compete with anybody for my heart. It had already been stolen by you. ”

Levi smiled warmly to Eren, but it fell when he saw tears starting to form in the brunettes eye corners.

“What the fuck did I do? Fuck, don’t cry. Stop crying.” The raven was once again reminded that he was shit at comforting people.

The brunette shook his head as he was desperately trying to wipe away the tears.

“No, I’m sorry for having suspected you like that...” Eren hiccuped as he remembered all the times he had cried and was being pissed. “I should have told you sooner, I’m such an idiot.”

“That’s what you’re crying about? Yes you are an idiot, but you’re my idiot.” Levi felt relief wash over him, but then pulled the brunette into a long lasting sweet kiss.

“I love you Levi.” The brunette whispered.

“I love you too Eren.”

“Thank you for coming after me.”

“Don’t worry about thanking me. You would have done the same.”

Levi and Eren hugged each other while sharing sweet and gentle kisses. They were enjoying their lovers presence and the quiet moment that was only reserved for himself.

They decided to stay at home and watch horror movies. No need to say that it was one of their worst ideas ever, as they both were terrified as fuck by the end of the night.

Neither of them dared to go to rooms that were dark alone, thus the reason why they were basically glued to each other.

Whenever they weren’t together in the same room, one of them would decided to be an asshole and scare the other. It became a game, where the whole house had no lights on. Both had to find each other and scared them as hard as possible.

Levi had somehow snuck into their bedroom and changed his clothes to black. He had even grabbed something he could use to blindfold Eren. Even though it was dark, people would still be able to see at least a little. Plus that would scare Eren the living crap out.

It did work as Eren screamed bloody murder, but the consequences of such action left Levi with a bloody nose. To which the brunette apologized countless times, but the raven always brushed it off as nothing.

Both had made sure to lighten the mood after that with a pillow fight which was childish to do, but to them it was the perfect activity to lessen the tension.

They were having fun so much that they didn’t notice how fast the time flew as it already was 3 AM, when they finally decided to search up the clock and take a loom. They then hurried to sleep, but not before having a bath together.

They then hurried to bed and both fell almost at the same time into deep slumber as the exhaustion had taken a toll on them.

****  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading this and hope you have a wonderful day!


End file.
